“Coping with guilt and your aging loved one”
By Connie De La Rosa

As a primary caregiver for my mother, coming to terms that my mother was aging along with many medical problems was not easy especially when I had a husband, baby and worked full-time.  I realized that  my anger  triggered  feelings of guilt and worried that I may not be an adequate caregiver or just a selfish daughter.  This a life changing experience that our family never discussed because “aging” just was not part of our conversation.  As a matter of  fact, usually always a joke somewhere,  my nephew(at age 6) asked his grandmother that when she passed , if he could inherit her motorized scooter and we would all laugh and put a sticker with his name on it as grandma drove around so all knew it was his and it made him feel good.  After caring for my mother for many years and conducting home visits with those who care for their aging loved ones as a Social Worker, I was grateful for the experience because  I was able to see the families objectively and have a good understanding of  the caregivers needs as well as the aging loved one.

Useful tips in managing difficult feelings:

Self-care. It is necessary to put yourself first sometimes. Proper rest, healthy food and exercise are basic needs for every person. If caring for a parent is causing you to burn the candle at both ends, it might be time to ask for help and to accept support.

Be realistic. If your parent is seriously impaired by an illness and cannot safely care for themselves, you might not be qualified to care for them either. Placing them in a care home or hiring a professional aide might be the most responsible thing you can do.

Don’t expect praise or thanks from your parent. They might feel incredibly grateful, but the illness or their own feelings of guilt and inadequacy might make it too difficult to express their feelings. Take pride in knowing you’re doing the best you can for your mom or dad.

Watching parents age with illnesses is a difficult process, but you’re not alone. Everyone who has cared for an elderly parent has experienced similar feelings and challenges but know there are professionals you can turn to for guidance. Questions? Resources?  Call  805-200-7756  for free information

Livingston Memorial Visiting Nurse Association supports the total well-being of our community.  As part of their services, they host free monthly education classes throughout the county which include the following I Ventura:

Adult Bereavement Support Group Wednesdays, March 2, 9, 16, 23, and 30 from 6:30-8:00 pm at.  These groups are open to individuals who have experienced loss and are free of charge. Call 642-0239 for more information or email [email protected].

Newly Bereaved Support Group Thursday, March 10th from 6-7:30 pm.  This monthly group is designed for adults who have recently experienced the loss of a loved one and is free.  These groups meet every 2nd Thursday of each month.

Diabetes Classes: Tuesday, March 1st from 1-2:30pm.  These meetings are held on 1st Tuesday of each month.  General information is provided about Type 2 Diabetes with emphasis on the development of an individualized plan of care that includes diet, medication, exercise and blood sugar monitoring.

Joint Replacement Classes

Thursday, March 3rd from 1:00-2:00pm. You will learn what to expect before, during and after knee or hip replacement surgery and how to be an active participant in your care. These meetings are 1st Thursday of each month.

Monday, March 14th for both English and Spanish speaking.  English 4:00-5:00pm and Spanish 5:30-6:30pm. You will learn what to expect before, during and after knee or hip replacement surgery and how to be an active participant in your care.

For information or to RSVP call Dinah Davis at 642-0239 ext. 739. Livingston Memorial Visiting Nurse Association office, 1996 Eastman Ave., Suite 109.

SMART (Senior Marketing Alliance Round Table) is a small group of professional vendors that serve the Senior Market. SMART is sponsoring the 24th Annual Caregivers Golf Tourney Monday, March 14th, 9am at the Buenaventura Golf Course, followed by an Irish Feast with prizes at The Wedgewood Center. Sponsorships, golfers, and raffle items are still needed.

SMART meets once a month to create, discuss and share senior issues in a round table format, has speakers available for groups, and provides innovative products and services to the senior markets. Members visit, host or participate in senior events, and use collective experience to help seniors in the community. There are no annual dues.

Different members host the monthly meeting for SMART Vendors who market to seniors in Ventura County, every 4th Tuesday of the month, from 9:00 am – 10:30am at Nicoll Insurance & Financial, 5550 Telegraph Rd, upstairs Suite B3.

For info and to sponsor CareGivers, call Tammy at 658-8530

For SMART info, Jim Nicoll at  642-1775 or [email protected].

Drugs in the Body

Medicines can enter the body in many different ways, including through an inhaler, a skin patch, a pill or a hypodermic needle. Most of the time, when people take drugs, they have a clear idea about what they’re taking, however on other occasions, you may be taking a completely unknown drug, which could prove to be harmful. The best way to understand exactly what you’re taking is to have a look at something like this Marquis test kit to see how this can be established. Having a clearer idea about the drugs that you’re consuming, will ensure that you know of any risks or side effects before doing so. As drugs make their way through the body, many steps happen along the way. Understanding how medicines work in your body can help you learn why it is important to use medicines safely and effectively. In this section on taking medicines, we’ll focus on medicines you take by mouth, since those are the most common.

Entering and Circulating in the Body

When you take medicines by mouth, they move through the digestive tract and are taken up by internal organs like the stomach and small intestine. Often, they are then sent to the liver, where they might be chemically altered. Finally, they are released into the bloodstream.

As the bloodstream carries medicines throughout the body, the drugs can interact with many tissues and organs. Side effects can occur if a drug has unintended effects anywhere in the body.

Drug Metabolism

Just as it does with food, the body tries to chemically break down medicines as soon as they enter the body. Most drugs taken by mouth enter the stomach or small intestine and then are sent to the liver.

The liver contains protein molecules called enzymes that chemically modify drugs and other non-food substances. The chemical alteration of a medicine by the body is called drug metabolism.

Often, when a drug is metabolized by the body, it is converted into products called metabolites. These metabolites are not usually as strong as the original drug, but sometimes they can have effects that are stronger than the original drug. For example, codeine in the prescription pain killer Tylenol#3 becomes fully active only after the medicine is metabolized in the liver.

Because most drugs and other “foreign” substances are broken down in the liver, scientists refer to the liver as a “detoxifying” organ. As such, the liver can be prone to damage caused by too much medicine in the body.

Drug metabolites often return to the liver and are chemically altered once again before they exit the body.

Exiting the Body

After a drug’s metabolites have circulated in the bloodstream, where they work as medicine, the body eliminates them the same way it eliminates other wastes-in the urine or feces. Age-related changes in kidney function can have significant effects on how fast a drug is eliminated from the body.