by Jill Forman
When Smith’s husband was diagnosed with dementia, they joined a not-so-exclusive club. 50 million people worldwide are dealing with dementia.
Smith spoke about her knowledge, experiences and loss at the Hill Road Library on May 14.
After his death she wrote My Husband’s Keeper, a memoir of their journey, to share their experiences and help others going through the same struggles.
When her husband, a beloved and respected doctor, exhibited altered behavior and thought patterns, Smith took him to a neurologist, saying “He’s not quite right.” The specialist diagnosed him with Cognitive Impairment. Smith knew nothing about this condition, and went home to research it. When she realized the implications and prognosis of the progressive illness, “I went into denial.”
“It’s a new world,” she says; families become “paralyzed” and don’t know what to do. “Life becomes disorder, chaos and confusion.”
It is in hope that her knowledge and experiences can help others dealing with this life event that she wrote the book.
One aspect she stresses is that the caregivers must learn to care for themselves also. At one point, when her husband was settling into Memory Care and she was temporarily not needed, “I went home and slept for two days straight. You don’t realize how exhausted you are.” There are caregiver support groups; in Ventura County we have many resources. Families are encouraged to contact the Alzheimer’s Association or the Area Agency on Aging for assistance.
