The Twisted Pixies at the 4th of July Parade in Anarcortes, WA. Photo by Joel Kifer
by Susan Stiles Senior Director of Product Development and Strategy at NCOA
Women (cisgender, assigned female at birth (AFAB), and/or nonbinary persons identifying femininity as part of their gender expression) count on one another for emotional support; They listen, give advice, and boost each other’s self-esteem.
“When you have a good [woman] friend, that person is part of your breath,” especially as you age.
It all began in 2005. Bonnie Nelson was out walking with a few of her friends in Anacortes, WA, talking about what they wanted to do for the summer.
“I had recently read The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and The Sweet Potato Queens,” Nelson recalled, “and the idea of being in a local parade was on my mind. We decided to come up with costumes and join in the Fourth of July Parade.”
And with that, the Twisted Pixies was born, and what Nelson and her friends thought would be a one-time event has turned into a years-long journey of friendship, camaraderie, and increasingly elaborate costumes. Over time, the group’s numbers have grown—from six to more than 50—as has their support for one another.
When they meet to make the costumes for the summer parade, there are always “heartfelt conversations about the serious issues we deal with—death, illness, financial concerns, life changes, and so on.” For all of us, “it’s a safe place for sharing, and always mixed with much laughter, as we can switch from the topic of cancer treatments to a serious discussion of how much sparkle we should add to our head pieces or sunglasses or some other costume part.”
Women friendships. Important for our well-being, deeply gratifying, sometimes complicated, always enriching.
Trust is another important aspect of women friendships. And this trust often arises from the feeling of being able to be one’s true self with your woman friend. For Ginny Adams, this is certainly the case. She feels that she can “bare her soul” and “go deeper with (women) friendships.” She cites her over 40-year friendship with Barb Matter as an example: “It’s always been as though we’re sisters in spirit, having someone to confide in as an intimate friend that you can share deeply with and trust, and that you can be yourself with, and accept each other for all of our flaws. She’s a touchstone and an anchor for me. And it goes both ways.”
The impact of a woman friendship can go well beyond the immediate friendship itself. For Ginny Adams and Barb Matter, their friendship has spawned a next-generation friendship between their daughters. The close bonds of one generation have made friendship and trust possible for another generation. And modeling a positive friendship between to women can be extremely powerful.
